A Father Laments Again
by Amber Lehcar
Summary: A more serious version of "A Father's Lament"


**For some reason, I felt like writing a serious fic with Spirit, because fanfiction always portrays him as a goof. And while he is always a goof, he still has a more serious side. So this is a more serious version of "A Father's Lament". Please read and review! I don't own Soul Eater.**

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><p>Among the bustle of students, he spots the object of his affection take the white-haired boy's hand sheepishly. Both blush, but continue on their way to class. He's frozen on the stairwell, hand gripping the handrail tightly. It was inevitable, he knew that. His little girl wouldn't need him anymore, he knew that from the day she was born. Red bangs fall in his face, but he makes no motion to move them. The lonely feeling bubbles up and threatens to spill over in the form of tears. But he slowly walks away from the stairs before a single tear falls.<p>

He doesn't know what to do. Maka has been his whole life. He denied it every time Stein mentioned their growing relationship, but Spirit always knew Soul would take Maka away from him. But witnessing her small steps away from him hurts more than the Death Scythe originally thought.

H locks himself in a bathroom stall, feeling like a depressed teenage girl. Sadness and a faint feeling of illness overwhelms him, and suddenly he can't hold on to his emotions anymore. He cries so hard that he eventually can't hold down his lunch, and he throws up. Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he sets his cheek on the side of the toilet, the porcelain cooling his face. His throat stings, and he's afraid that opening his mouth will result in him getting sick again.

The restroom door swings open, and someone walks right up to Spirit's stall. "Spirit? You okay?" Stein's voice calls out.

The Death Scythe nods before remembering that the door prevents his friend from seeing it. "Y-Yeah..." he chokes out. He knows Stein won't buy it.

"You saw Soul and Maka, didn't you?" Stein asks, sitting down on the floor across from the stall. Spirit can't even form words, so instead he whines pitifully in a way that confirms Stein's prediction. "Spirit, we talked about this," the doctor sighs. "She's not that little girl you always imagine. She's grown up. But she still needs you-"

"She doesn't need me!" the Death Scythe yells, slapping his hand on the floor. "She hasn't needed me in the past six years! Scratch that, she's _never_ needed me! I need her! She deserves a much better father than me, and all I can do is cling to her, afraid to be alone!" Suddenly, his stomach heaves again, and whatever had been left in his stomach now empties into the toilet before him.

Stein doesn't move, staring at the stall without any emotion. "She loves you. She may not show it, but she really loves you..."

Spirit's voice echoes from within the bowl as he continues pouring out his heart. "I've been a horrible husband and father... I don't deserve her love, just like I didn't deserve Kami's love... But it hurts to watch her walk with him... Maybe... maybe because I know that where I failed to be there for her, he won't..." He attempts to pick himself up off the floor. "I know she'd be happy with Soul... but I just want her to be that little girl I remember... I'm so selfish..."

"Your behavior is normal, Spirit," Stein reassures. "No parent wants to accept the fact that their child is growing up." He stare intently at the stall until the lock clicks open and Spirit stumbles out.

Walking over to the sinks, the Death Scythe stares at his reflection in the mirror sadly. "I've always been selfish... All my life has been about me, my happiness... I've never been held accountable for anyone but myself, even though I'm a father. How could Maka ever forgive me? How could she love me...?"

The doctor picks himself off the cold linoleum floor and goes to the sink next to Spirit. Washing his hands, Stein says, "She believes in you still. She believes in people, that their souls aren't set in stone. Just as the body is easily changed, so too is the soul. Maka doesn't give up on people, know they can change. So she's waiting for you. Waiting for you to become the someone you can be proud of." He laughs. "Although it seems a little backwards. Seems like she should be the parent."

Spirit silently cups water into his hands and washes his face. Here he was, indulging in self-pity while his daughter was waiting to finally see the real him. He looks back to his reflection, seeing a tiny glimmer of hope in his own eyes. "I'm going to call Kami," he announces meekly. "I wanna start over... show the two most important girls in my life how much they really matter to me... show them the me they've never known..."

Stein smiles and pats his friend's back. "I'll be cheering you on." Spirit smiles back and heads for the school's main entrance.

The final bell has already rung by the time he gets into the main hallway. Students run out of the building, scurrying in the rare Nevada rain outside. There he spots his daughter, a leather jacket above her head, shielding herself from the rain. Her partner pulls his motorcycle up to her and gestures for her to climb on. Just as Spirit walks out into the rain, Maka turns around while atop the bike. The father raises his hand in a slight wave, and, to his surprise, his daughter smiles warmly and waves back. The motorcycle pulls away until he can faintly see the glow of the taillights. A single tear slides down his face, mixing with the rain falling softly. He's not worried. She's in good hands, and he heads off in the direction of his own home.


End file.
